MY Story and Some            Thoughts

The the first picture I ever took of myself dressed was quite the adventure (not the picture on the left).  The picture quality was very poor.  I took it with one of those Polaroid instant cameras and then scanned the picture.  I was so nervous that a friend was going to visit or something.  I had very long hair then, half way down to the middle of my back, but was so nervous that I forgot it was tucked inside of my sweater !  Good move JJ !  And then the camera fell off where I had positioned it and broke of course.  Oh, and I put some powder on and it made me look like I had a blonde mustache.  I also was wearing big sunglasses too ... hmmm

Well, I guess my story doesn't differ from a lot of other sisiters' stories.  I began fooling around with underthings at age 6.  I believe the first thing I reached for was a slip right out of the dryer.  It had an elasticized waist and I put it on right over my jeans.  That was the first time.  When I got to be around 9 or 10, I would kind of study what my mom and her friends were wearing.  At that time, the mid sixties, women wore girdles, garters, and skirts or dresses and you could see the outline of the garters sometimes showing through the skirt or dress.  Sometimes, you could see the garter attached to the stocking tops when the gals crossed their leggs (I always spell leggs like that).  Women wore high heels a lot then too.  I really had the urge to dress then just seeing those sights.  At age 12, I would put a girdle and stockings on when no one was home.  Of course it was Mom's and I never put on anything freshly washed because I was afraid of being caught.  I would even take ruined stockings out of the garbage just to have some.  And I would make my own garter belts from old sheets and old garters that were laying aroung in junk drawers.  It was such a turn-on for me, wearing ladies things, that I would get a quick, hard erection just from touching the clothes.  I always had very intense climaxes, always.     When I was 13 or 14, I would go into supermarkets and steal packages of stockings and pantyhose (pantyhose was starting to catch on then).  Thank God I never got caught.  When I turned 16, I worked for a market and would steal packages of hose.  But I had my driver's license finally and I actually started to visit hosiery shops to buy hose and garter belts.  In college I had a few things hidden most of th time.      After college I lived home without a job and finally got a job working in a shoe store and bought my first pair of high heeled open toed sandals.  They had thick heels and were easy to walk in.  I bought them just after I opened the store, before the manager arrived.  It was with these sandals that I started to dress fully.  It just felt so right to me.  Of course I was all alone with my "condition" and very fearful of being caught.  I say "condition" because I had already heard about how you were "queer"or a "fag" if you did this sort of thing.  Of course all my male friends had quite the laugh when making fun of transgendered folks (and most of my male friends and female friends still do).  One day, at about the age of 22, I was in full dress with sandals, girdle, stockings, bra, sweater, and skirt and who should come home but Dad, home early from work.  Caught in the act !  He really didn't know what to say and I cried because he was such a macho guy and I felt like I had let him down.  Well, he grabbed my hand and told me that he loved me and that I could always come to him with anthing and that no one would ever find out  ... that he would take this to his grave ... and he did.  Of course all my things got purged, but he was true to his word.  He was a sweet man.  I was lucky to have him as my dad.  Then I went out with a very nice girl for 13 years who thought that I needed serious help.  And that takes me to my current place in time.  It was quite the journey.

MY Story

My Thoughts

Its been almost 4 years since I got my computer.  I just can't believe all the sisters that are out there.  I used to think I was all alone but that is not the case.  There are so many support type organizations out there too.  I don't know why I am transgendered but I am what I am.  I don't feel guilty at all any more about dressing.  I only wish I could dress more and make more friends who are like me and meet with them more and just live life.  I went out in public for the first time 3 years ago when I attended a tg convention near Boston, Mass called "First Event 1999" sponsored by the Tiffany Club of New England (www.tcne.org).  I attended First Event 2000 and First Event 2001 and I just had a great experiece.  I've met many beautiful sisters.  I love beautiful things and pretty things.  It is truly a beautiful experience to be able to fully express your feminine self.  One gets to fully appreciate all the nice things in a girl's world.  Those who ridicule the transgendered just have no idea how we feel inside.  They really don't and it is sad.  If they did know there would be no ridicule.  Now wouldn't that be wonderful ?  I've met some wonderful friends here at home thanks to my dear friend Bobbi Jo.  I've met a whole bunch of girls on the web and have even got to meet a few of them in person.  I think every one of you girls is very special.